Be Still My Beating Heart

be still my beating heart. silence the pain and the sorrow. wishing for something that will never be. hoping, always hoping though the truth is right in front of you. always trying to hold on to the belief that this is real, that it can work. turning a blind eye to the truth. you are not loved the way you hope to be or even at all. constantly having to prove that you are worthy of someone's love. trying to prove yourself but never believed to be true by the person whose opinion matters the most. have been measured and weighed from the get go and found lacking. fighting a losing battle. you'll never be enough.

be still my beating heart. find the peace in the stillness. hold one's breath in hope no more. face up to the truth if you can. but you must. you have to. someday. quiet the thoughts in your head. putting everyone's wants and needs ahead of your own. always trying to understand them, yet feeling guilty whenever you ask for what you need. til when will you keep fighting on your own? til when will you keep beating knowing that no one will fight for you back? bleed...bleed. that is what's best. feel the pain of a knife through the heart instead of the pain of a broken heart.

be still my beating heart, quiet like the night. shroud yourself in darkness so no one sees. curse the day for you're forced to wear the mask that everyone wants to see. the mask you show them to make them happy and believe that all is well in their busy little world. a world that only includes you when tis convenient. never burden them with your petty little pathetic life. welcome the darkness. welcome the quiet. for amidst the darkness and the quiet you let it be. let the tears finally fall and embrace your sorrow. let out your pain. you are alone and you always will be.

please be still my beating heart and bleed, for this is what's meant to be.