Bah, Humbug!

Christmas is usually a depressing time for me for some reason. As far as I could remember, it has always saddened me. I've always been stressed out about some thing or another and don't get to enjoy it much. Maybe that's why I don't think about the season as much as others do. I'd rather just tire myself out before, during and after. Try to enjoy it as much as I can or do something that would take my mind off it.

This year wasn't any better. I could even say it was worse. I was so hoping it would be different. I won't go into details because...because...I guess I just don't want to. All I can say is I spent the season sad and with a heavy heart. Thank God for friends...and booze. Not that I drank all that much and all that often. Nevertheless, it was good to keep my mind off things, even for just a bit. For a brief moment, I was able to forget what was going on in my life. Delude myself for a short period of time that I was fine. Aah...life!

A new year, a new life. That's all there is. Work is a welcome reprieve...for the most part. Work, family and a few friends, that's my life now. Just smile on the outside and pretend everything is fine. Try to look at the bright side. Just a bit cloudy though. I'll figure it out someday.

Bah, humbug! I'm such a Scrooge. Maybe next Christmas will be different. Where the hell is my shell when I need it?